Howdy, folks. When I woke up today, I had no idea what I was going to write about. My now daily jog/walk has helped me so much in organizing my thoughts for the day. So, as I was jogging today, I thought about how much more weight I would lose if someone challenged me in a weight-loss competition. So, today, I am going to talk about how freaking competitive I am.
I hate to lose. I always have. The only difference between me as a kid and me now competition-wise is that I am no longer a sore loser — externally. In my mind, though, if someone beats me at something, I get so upset.
My brain when I lose
When someone challenges me in something that involves physical activity, I become some sort of intense athlete. I have strength and endurance that I don’t normally have.
I know most of this stems from the fact that I am an overweight woman. I have always been overweight. So, when I was growing up, and we’d have gym class or whatever, no one saw me as a threat. “Oh, she’s fat” and/or “Oh, she’s a girl” would be said. I really, really, really, really, REALLY enjoyed proving them wrong. I still do. I never liked being judged on those factors alone. I rocked at dodgeball, which was my favorite game as a kid. I could dodge, and I could catch those big red rubber balls. And because I was a girl and overweight, I was always my friends’ “secret weapon.” Oh man, good times.
In college, I actually almost had a minor in sports because I took a ton of sports classes. The classes were two credits each and ended early in the semester. I took bowling (two semesters), softball, tennis, badminton, volleyball and archery. (I might be missing a class in there; it was a long time ago.) I really went all out to compete in these, but because of my illness, I didn’t do too too well. However, I did place third in the end-of-semester archery competition, so that was pretty cool. And I loved taking all these sports classes. I love sports — playing them that is, not watching them. Hopefully, I can get fit enough to actually play some at some point, if I can find people to play with.
But I was thinking today on how if someone challenged me to a weight-loss competition, I would probably lose a lot more weight and get really fit, because I MUST WIN. So, if there is anyone out there who wants to compete with someone who is a bit insane when it comes to competition (sounds so appealing, I know), shoot me an email (leolily11@gmail.com), and maybe we can compete and encourage each other to lose some weight.
Actually, just publicly telling people that I am on a diet, exercising and trying to lose weight has made me stick to it, because I do not want to publicly fail. I already said my goal is 140 pounds, so now I’m like “Oh man, I have to get there. I can’t fail! I can’t lose!” I’m stuck at this 25-pound plateau, and every part of me is just super bummed and wants to quit. But no! I have to be patient. I have to remember that I am not only dieting but I am exercising too, which means that I might be gaining muscle and therefore, weight loss might be slower. (Another flaw of mine: I am NOT PATIENT. Instant gratification, please.)
And I’ve made this public commitment to change myself “one petal at a time.” Every time I think “maybe I’ll just stay the way I am,” I think “wait, I made this public announcement, I can’t stop now!” So, here’s hoping my fear of failure and losing outweighs any desire to stop changing (sounds like a bad thing the way I put it, but I hope you get the idea).
Well, it’s my weekend, so I’m going to go try to do some chores.
Until next time!
Frazzled Daisy 